My Back Goes Out More Than I Do Hoodie

Remember when “going out” meant dancing till last call? Now it's your back making the dramatic exit every time you sneeze. You're not worn out, my dear — you're well-loved and beautifully lived-in. Laugh about it now, before it's heating-pad o'clock.

Apparently important stuff: heavyweight blend fleece, double-lined hood, front pouch pocket — maximum couch authority. Printed to order in the USA, free 2–5 day delivery. Machine wash cold, inside out.